Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. Men will screw anything.

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change the bulb, and one to kill him and take the credit.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None:  A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "None of your %@$!^# business!"

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two.  But they have to be very, VERY, small!

Q: How many people from California does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

Q: How many Hippies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the
    experience.

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with
     brightly coloured machine tools.

Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three.  One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third
     to shoot the witness.

Q: How many cops did it take to screw in the light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One third less than for a regular bulb.

Q: How many Necrophiliacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, Necrophiliacs prefer dead bulbs.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!!!

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000"

Q: How many survivors of a nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None; people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Q:  How many MP's does it take to change a light bulb ?
A:  Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding
      committee to learn more about how it's done.

Q:  How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb ?
A:  One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32.......

Q:  How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  One - but he has to wait until the light is better.